Embracing Adversity and Building Trust: Charlie Van Liew's High Performance Philosophy

In a world that often celebrates comfort and ease, Charlie Van Liew stands as a passionate advocate for the transformative power of embracing adversity. On a recent episode of my podcast, this speaker, brand strategist, and sales expert shared profound insights about building authentic relationships in business and using life's challenges as catalysts for growth.

Charlie's journey from struggling with mental health challenges to becoming a high-performance professional offers valuable lessons for entrepreneurs, sales professionals, and anyone seeking personal growth. Let's explore the wisdom he shared and discover how his approach to adversity and trust-building can transform both your business and personal life.

What True High Performance Really Means

For Charlie, high performance isn't about relentless hustle or burning yourself out. Instead, it's about how you respond to life's inevitable challenges:

"High performance to me looks like someone who is not stopped by the adversity that they see in their life—someone who sees that adversity not as a barrier but something that is intended to make them better in one way, shape, or form."

This perspective shift—viewing obstacles as opportunities rather than roadblocks—creates a foundation for consistent growth. Charlie emphasizes that reorienting our relationship with adversity becomes "a huge catalyst for growth and personal development" that works both inside and outside business contexts.

As Charlie puts it, "If the answer for you is 'I will not stop,' then get out of your way. There's a lot you're going to accomplish."

The Authentic Sales Approach: Building Trust Through Honesty

One of the most valuable insights Charlie shared concerns his unconventional yet highly effective approach to sales. While many follow tactical scripts and manipulative techniques, Charlie credits his success to something far simpler: authentic human connection.

"What builds trust is making a real connection with someone, having an honest conversation about their needs—not what we're trying to get out of a situation, not what I'm trying to accomplish via working with you in a partnership—but keeping it simple. Go back to basics: what's in it for me from their perspective."

Charlie rejects the manipulative sales tactics popularized in movies like "Wolf of Wall Street" and "Boiler Room," focusing instead on building genuine trust:

Key Elements of Trust-Based Selling:

1. Authenticity over tactics: "Every time I read a sales book early in my career, I just always came to the conclusion that this is not me. I'm not the guy that is going to find some tactic, some verbiage that's going to twist somebody into doing something I want them to do for my benefit."
2. Honest assessment of fit: "If the answer is I can't [help them], we be respectful and we give them their time back. We thank them for the interaction and we leave a good taste in their mouth."
3. Relationship preservation: "Never burn a bridge. Always treat people with respect, with honesty, and it's okay if someone doesn't buy."
4. Human connection first: "Nobody wants to have the door close, you sit down in the boardroom, you throw your hands on the table, and you immediately start pitching. That's going to put people's guard up right away."

Charlie's approach is particularly effective in our post-pandemic world, where "people crave connection, they crave good conversations." By meeting in person when possible and focusing on relationship-building before business, he creates a disarming experience that stands out in today's digital-first sales environment.

The Power of Controlled Adversity: From Darkness to Growth

Perhaps the most compelling part of Charlie's story is his personal journey through mental health struggles to finding purpose and strength through embracing challenges. Despite having external success—a six-figure position, a beautiful family, and a supportive community—Charlie found himself in a dark mental space several years ago.

"Everything on paper you could think of that was going well was there... and yet here I was in this really dark place, spiraling."

The turning point came through what Charlie calls "controlled adversity"—intentionally introducing challenges into his life as a way to build resilience and capacity:

Charlie's Path Through Controlled Adversity:

1. Starting small: Beginning with cold showers, Charlie discovered he could push beyond what seemed impossible days earlier.
2. Building momentum: Small wins led to larger challenges like exercise, creating a positive snowball effect.
3. Discovering purpose through challenge: "If we don't have a load to bear as men, we stagnate and we atrophy."
4. Transferring discipline to business: The personal discipline developed through physical challenges directly enhanced his professional performance.

The results were transformative. Within just 3-4 weeks, Charlie experienced significant improvements in his mental health. He lost 20 pounds, regained his energy, and found himself becoming a better husband and father.

This experience taught him a profound truth that applies equally to personal development and business growth: "We were made for a load. This is a feature, not a bug of reality... we become better men when we're facing adversity, and we become worse men when we seek comfort and sloth and the easy way out. Adversity is the way forward."

Applying the Philosophy: From Self-Improvement to Sales Success

Charlie's insights create a powerful framework that connects personal growth with professional excellence, particularly in sales and marketing. By embracing controlled adversity in our personal lives, we develop the resilience and discipline needed to:

1. Set ambitious business goals that stretch us beyond our comfort zones
2. Develop the consistency needed for sales follow-through
3. Build authentic relationships based on trust rather than manipulation
4. Weather the inevitable rejection and setbacks in the sales process

As Charlie explains, "Let's have goals that used to scare us. Let's set a bar that is so seemingly impossible that we have no choice but to shoot for it and get better."

This approach aligns perfectly with biblical wisdom, which Charlie references from Romans 5: "Affliction produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope." Through embracing challenges rather than avoiding them, we develop not just professional skills but deeper character and purpose.

Conclusion: The Path to Authentic High Performance

Charlie Van Liew's perspective offers a refreshing alternative to both the "hustle culture" that leads to burnout and the comfort-seeking that leads to stagnation. His approach to high performance centers on:

1. Reframing how we view adversity—seeing challenges as opportunities for growth
2. Building sales relationships based on genuine trust and service
3. Intentionally introducing "controlled adversity" to build capacity
4. Applying the resulting discipline and resilience to all areas of life

As Charlie reminds us, "Every good thing for you is hard; every bad thing is easy." By embracing this truth and approaching both personal and professional challenges with the right mindset, we can achieve sustainable high performance while building meaningful connections along the way.