High Performance Habits for Entrepreneurs: Lessons from a Dating Coach's Journey

In this insightful episode of The Nathan Newberry Show, dating expert Kavita shares her 13-year entrepreneurial journey and the high-performance habits that helped her build a successful coaching business. From overcoming burnout to implementing daily meditation, her story offers valuable lessons for entrepreneurs at any stage.

Introduction

What does high performance really mean for today's entrepreneurs? According to dating coach Kavita, it's about reaching a state of flow where "everything feels very clear" and you're "really dialed into your intuition." This definition goes beyond typical productivity metrics to embrace a more holistic approach to success.

In this conversation, Kavita reveals how she transitioned from corporate life to building a thriving dating coaching business specifically for men re-entering the dating scene. Her 13-year entrepreneurial journey includes founding a tech startup, running a successful speed dating company, and ultimately pivoting to become a love coach who helps men build confidence and find meaningful relationships.

But what makes her story particularly valuable are the high-performance habits and mindset shifts that helped her navigate challenges, avoid burnout, and build a business aligned with her values. Let's explore the key insights from her journey that can help any entrepreneur perform at their best.

Finding Your Path: The Power of Following Intuition

Kavita's entrepreneurial journey began unexpectedly when she was fired from her corporate job for sending personal emails from her work account. Rather than seeing this as a setback, she embraced the opportunity to pursue her own path.

"I think I knew I was always going to run my own business," Kavita explains. "Even when I got my corporate job, I stumbled into it. I didn't want it... when I got the job, I was actually really upset about it."

This unexpected twist came shortly after losing her father, creating a powerful catalyst for change. Kavita describes feeling a strong sense of independence and certainty about her direction: "This is who I am... I just wanted to step into that."

What's remarkable about Kavita's approach was her natural inclination toward entrepreneurial thinking from the beginning:

• She started small businesses with friends as early as high school
• Gravitated toward independent roles like telemarketing where she could make her own schedule
• Never questioned whether entrepreneurship was the right path, but rather which business idea to pursue

For aspiring entrepreneurs, Kavita's experience highlights the importance of recognizing when you're in the wrong environment and having the courage to step into a role that feels more aligned with your authentic self.

Building a Foundation: Habits That Prevent Burnout

Throughout her 13 years as an entrepreneur, Kavita has developed key habits that help her maintain high performance without burning out. These practices form what she calls "directional principles" that guide her through the inevitable ups and downs of entrepreneurship.

Meditation: The Game-Changer

The single most transformative habit in Kavita's journey has been daily meditation, which she started in 2015 after being inspired by Tim Ferriss.

"Meditation was definitely one of the bigger ones when I first started getting into this more self-development journey," she explains. Even after years of practice, she admits she still sometimes feels the urge to skip it: "I still to this day, after all these years of doing it, I'm like in the morning, 'Got to race to the thing!'"

Yet she emphasizes that those who feel the strongest urge to race through their day are precisely the ones who need meditation most. Her advice is compelling:

"That calming moment just to reconnect with yourself, ground yourself, is what will get you through the day, is what will get you through difficult moments, is what will help you feel that much more productive and be that much more productive."

For those hesitant to start, Kavita recommends committing to just 5 minutes daily for a minimum of 30 days, noting that "the effects will show up in the most unexpected ways" - like reacting differently to situations that would normally trigger stress.

Creating Sustainable Work Patterns

Rather than embracing hustle culture, Kavita advocates for a more balanced approach to productivity:

1. Accepting imperfection: "It's not about tactics to get more done. It's about getting really comfortable knowing that it's not all going to get done and being okay with that."
2. Maintaining flexibility: "Don't get so rigid about your routines because it's actually those moments where your sister-in-law wants to drop in for lunch... those are not going to be the moments that you remember."
3. Building comfort: Kavita always brings "cozy" items wherever she goes—extra clothes, socks for coffee shops, whatever helps her feel physically comfortable in any environment.

This approach stands in stark contrast to the "toxic" hustle culture that glorifies overwork. As Kavita notes, "That whole hustle culture and go-go-go and don't sleep... I think that's kind of toxic today, and I don't think that we have to be that way."

Adapting to Change: Pivoting with Purpose

One of the most impressive aspects of Kavita's journey is her ability to adapt to unexpected challenges. When the pandemic hit in March 2020, she was running in-person speed dating events across North America and approaching burnout. Rather than giving up, she immediately pivoted to virtual events.

"It was like almost overnight," she recalls. "The last in-person events I ran were March 4th and 5th... all the tickets were sold, and I immediately took all of those tickets, turned them into virtual events."

This quick adaptation wasn't just good business sense—it came from understanding her deeper purpose. "It was so important at that time too because these are single people looking for love... the pandemic was so crazy in so many ways for so many people, but to kind of take that away for a lot of people that are living alone and out there looking to meet someone... I felt at that time like this is a service I'm not going to take away when we need connection more than ever."

What might have been a business-ending crisis instead became an opportunity that ultimately saved her from burnout: "Shifting everything online... I was no longer on the verge of burnout when I'm not dealing with logistics and running things and venues and all the package shipping."

This experience illustrates a key high-performance principle: when you're clear about your purpose and value, you can adapt your methods while staying true to your mission.

Finding Balance: The Strategic Approach to High Performance

Throughout the conversation, Kavita emphasizes that high performance isn't just about working harder—it's about working strategically and maintaining perspective.

The 80/20 Principle in Action

When advising entrepreneurs who are struggling, Kavita recommends stepping back to assess what's really important:

"Take several steps back and zoom out and look at the bigger picture and the 80/20 rule of like what is actually bringing in business and where are you focusing your time and what brings you joy and coming back to those principles of like why we start a business in the first place."

This approach helps entrepreneurs avoid wasting energy on low-impact activities and instead focus on what truly matters.

The Inner Work vs. Strategic Work Balance

Kavita draws a parallel between dating and business success, noting that both require two distinct types of work:

1. Strategic work: The tactical aspects—"what to say, where to go, how to set up your dating profile... reading the leadership books, learning the sales and marketing and automations and the funnels."
2. Inner work: The foundation that makes the strategies effective—developing self-awareness, building confidence, and maintaining emotional resilience.

"Without that [inner work] in place, all the books and all the courses and all the funnels in the world aren't really going to matter if they're just kind of sitting on top of a very unstable foundation," she explains.

The Power of Community

Kavita credits much of her success to the support of others who believed in her mission:

"I've been so lucky... man, I've been lucky with working with such amazing people... for people to believe in me and believe in the work and what we're putting out into the world and really helping from a place of genuine kindness... I haven't done it alone. From day one, I was never in this alone."

Unlike many entrepreneurs who struggle to ask for help, Kavita naturally sought support from the beginning, even posting an ad for an intern before running her first event. That intern later became one of her best friends.

Conclusion: Sustainable Success Through Mindful Entrepreneurship

Kavita's journey offers a refreshing perspective on high performance that focuses on sustainability, purpose, and wellbeing alongside strategic business growth. Her approach challenges the traditional hustle culture narrative and offers a more balanced path to success.

The key lessons from her experience include:

1. Trust your intuition about the path that's right for you, even if it means leaving security behind
2. Develop daily habits that keep you grounded and clear-headed, especially meditation
3. Build a strong foundation of self-awareness and resilience to support your strategic work
4. Remain flexible enough to pivot when circumstances change
5. Surround yourself with supportive people who believe in your mission
6. Remember why you started your business in the first place

As Kavita puts it, true high performance comes from that connection to your deeper purpose: "When I can reach that point where day-to-day I feel like I have this direct connection to the universe with nothing foggy, nothing standing in my way... I'm able to make really quick decisions that I know are right."

By focusing on building this foundation first, entrepreneurs can achieve meaningful success without sacrificing their wellbeing along the way.